Because I'm a spluttering baboon, I will impudently declare what will happen this weekend in the Premier League through the use of an ingenious, failproof algorithm I devised over my bowl of shredded wheat this morning. Specifically, I will peer into the future. I realize that no one else has ever thought of doing such a rash thing, but I assure you that will use proper eyewear.
(Please note: I will not be held responsible for meddlers such as players, managers, and referees attempting to change what is already written in stone. If they do choose to alter future results beyond recognition in contradiction with what I've already declared to hold true, the ripping of space-time and Big Sam's sizeable pants are their faults and their faults alone.)
2 May
The Riverside Stadium Middlesbrough v Manchester United
1-3
Fratton Park Portsmouth v Arsenal
1-1
City of Manchester Stadium Manchester City v Blackburn Rovers
2-0
The JJB Stadium Wigan Athletic v Bolton Wanderers
1-0
Britannia Stadium Stoke City v West Ham United
2-2
Stamford Bridge Chelsea v Fulham
2-0
White Hart Lane Tottenham Hotspur v West Brom
4-1
3 May
Anfield Liverpool v Newcastle United
3-0
Stadium of Light Sunderland v Everton
2-1
4 May
Villa Park Aston Villa v Hull City
2-2
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